As every day passes by the problem worsens rather than getting better. Dont know what to say exactly.... Nothing new happened today except of course some more came out in the light and made me realise that i was loosing out on every damn one of them.... Huh more than feeling sad am getting immune to all this as time passes.... Might end up as a loner one day... Ya thats what i have become, a loner,,, though i still wish the good old times wud roll yet again but alas all i see is darkness without even a trace of light..... all around me i see familiar faces who i once used to hang out with, but not any more,,,,,, its as if they hardly know me, and i for sure dont know anyone anymore. An emptiness creeps in my life as time goes on.... Am loosing out on something more than that.... My confidence is at an all time low... If at all i see someone who i want to speak to,,,, the words wont just come out... Have never been so cautious with what i speak ever in my life....
And when i try to be the same old extroverted person, a desperate attempt to make things right... the desperation shows in the words,,,, A person whose words used to be so apt once speaks utter nonsense and that too when he speaks after enough contemplation....
God,, is there really an end to this ordeal??? Can things be back the way they were before????
Maybe i am too possessive and not at able to let go of things, but its one life and is it too much to ask for a few friends who undersand you and support you??? Or is the life really so mean.... Like they say in MATRIX:: WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD... But something inside tells me that no, its not all that bad,,, its gonna be okay, its just a phase, i will pass by.... And then something or the other happens that puts me back from where i came......
Another problem if i may add :D is that people never take me seriously,, yes i know that... i try to be friendly and not take things to the heart, but what do i get for that... people take me for granted....
Okay maybe i am not making any sense but please lemme say it, this is the only place where i can say without worrying about what others may think..... Huh am going mad............. totally insane................................................................ :((
Do u think i need counselling??? Well at the moment i can drive anyone insane who comes forward to help me...... Sheh am so filled with complexes and insecurities that i cant do anything i once loved,.,,,,, And then there is the coffee addiction, staying up at nights, the insomnia, the head aches, the depression..... I hate myself now......................
YES I HATE MYSELF FOR LETTING THE WORLD RUN OVER ME......
Thats what they all have been doing... yes running over me... :(
Its like i know it all but am helpless and not able to do anything abt it,
Sometimes i really feel i must go to some metro and get really lost in the crowd and pamper myself,,,,, live my life the way i want to with no one who knows me, but then again,,, am not a person who can stay alone.....
Of course there are occasions i need to be left alone but thats not something i like doing often....
Now that i have this blog, i feel i am talking to myself and developing some sort of a split personality here... If i am going mad then i guess i know it already... :D i will be the first Mad person to accept the fact that he is getting mad......
Oh Gosh stop it... Whenever i get really serious, from somewhere this thing of acting normal and making a fun of myself starts coming up...... get serious get serious....
I beg you for help... Have nowhere to go... Am LOST..... Help me find myself.......
When things dont work out the way you want them to,,, everything around you seems wrong and you tend to dislike it,, its like a defense mechanism wherein one tries to form a secure circle around oneself and inside it gets ruined more than ever.... Am caught inside one such circle... Please let me out.......
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
gosh! u sound serious !! get a grip !! seriously, talk to your family..you r tryig to keep a face in front of them..wont work...u r being dishonest with them..they are here for u and only for u !
between , if i go down, i dont go down alone.. (yakku laughter)HaHaHaHa
well yes and no.... trying to keep a face in front of them.. yes and talk to them no.... they get paraniod abt small things... pretty ,much like me and if they as much as come to know about all this,.,.,, gosh u have no idea i_rule....
As for the problems wait for my next blog... there may be some rearrangement as in some additions to it and some minor deletions of course :D
hey u!
life is not about getting upset about upsets! its about learning and act on ur exprnc gained!
remember "God will give you nothing you wanted, but HE will give you everything you needed"
cheer up and review your thoughts without getting mad but getting wiser :) and rem.. if lose a chance, u might nt get it again! so speak up if u ve to!! gud luck
hey preeti,
what can i say??? been ages since i heard such words... read your blog, quiet interesting, and specially the words by swami vivekanada, really inspiring....
cant possibly explain you how much of a difference some simple words can make... no no no it doesnt mean everything changes overnight, but just that u begin to see from a different perspective for a change.
guess i needed that..
thanks a lot for your words of wisdom, and it means a lot for me...
By the way, just curious, how did u come about my blog????
Here's the next one.. A different direction... thanks to u....
Post a Comment