Whats the problem

Well, they say if you say it out you feel much better.. But when you have no one to listen, what do you do then? I say blog.......

So here i am, letting my feelings out, hoping for an answer from someone who can understand what the problem is. Yes, truely speaking i am clueless as to what my problem is... And that is precisely what i intend to find out. So let me start from the start. Born into an upper middle class family in a beautiful township in central India, i had a lovely childhood.... Was neither pampered nor pressured by my parents, probably my bringing up is one thing i am really satisfied with except for one little flaw. My parents never taught me to take advantage of others, neither of them were like that themselves. Which i feel now is a huge disadvantage for me... y? Read on you will find out.

I was always the person who never was really ambitious... Not that i didnt have ambitions.. Just that they were so short lived and ever changing that i never realised what i wanted to do. Well never really had a great hobby other than day dreaming and chilling out as they say it.... :D
So i just went where my life took me. Academically... never really put much effort but was always amongst the top students... not the topper... that drive to be at the top was never there.... became a jack(ass) of all trades and master of none...

As time went by I started enjoying the company of people my age and became a social and a very friendly guy. College life was ROCKING with a few upsets here and there... Love life???? The kind of person who falls in love with almost every person who responds properly...
And then something happened....... Something terrible.... didnt know what hit me... They all call it LIFE and it has its mysterious ways.....

Realised that most of the so called friends of that age were not really what you thought they were...... And i who was always brought up in a very secure (although quiet independent) environment started succumbing to emotions. Oh what an emotional fool.... Now that's where i am not so happy with not being able to take advantage of others, coz others do that every time to me. It turns out that a person who used to feel very practical and emotionally secure is not so any more. And this has been happening for quiet some time... my frustrations increase by the day as i see people who were not considered as intelligent or smart as myself move ahaed and make their lives and I who is standing at the crucial stages of life is standing helpless surrounded by insecurities and loneliness and impracticality......

Turns out my whole life is nothing but a problem......
This is the basic saga of what's inside my mind.... To add to these there are other issues like work, health issues etc etc....... As my responsibilities increase so do my frustrations and my troubles. It is time to take some action but what and how??? where to start from???
Basically makes me feel like just another person lost in the crowd, with no identity, trying to figure out what's the meaning of life and what should one do not to be left behind.....

At this point the whole world seems crashing down into me, have nowhere to go, no idea about what to do and no vision of whats lying ahaed...
They all say take control of your life, but its easier said than done..... Every time i take a bold step to get a hold of my life, it hits back even harder than before..... And if this continues any longer then....... God only knows........

Sometimes i feel these problems really do not exist, just that i am creating them for myself but then again, a moment later am back... Something or the other happens every single day that makes me come back to this mental state at the end of each day....... So please if you have any idea as to what I can do, help help help.............